“All girls? Seriously? Without kids?”
“Wow just girls to Goa? Amazing! I wish I could go too.”
“How can you leave your husband and children and go all alone on a vacation? What kind of trends are you starting in this family?”
“Poor kids and husband, how will they manage without you?”
These were some of the reactions I got from people when I proudly told them that I and my 4 girlfriends only are going on a 4 day trip to Goa.
It all started two months back when the boredom bug started biting me and the itch to bring some excitement made me restless. “Let’s go to Goa, just girls what say”, a question that I popped on my various WhatsApp groups which were mainly of my girlfriends only. It took 10 seconds to get my first reply, “Are you crazy?” said one while one more said, “Wow, I wish I could come”. Out of 15 friends I could manage to get just four to say “Let us just do it”. Others had their genuine reasons, lame excuses and other more important priorities. Made me think – can’t we just put ourselves on the top of our priority list sometime in life and just forget everything else? Is it some sort of an offense? Never mind.
The next step was to tell this to our respective husband just to make sure they are available on those days to babysit the kids and be in charge of the household. Our husbands were surprised but we were lucky enough to get their support and encouragement. The fact is, majority of the spouses are supportive to their wife in such situations. After all they all want their wife to be happy. It is us women who do not trust them with our kids and cannot digest the fact that they can also function well in our absence. The flaw is that we women make people around us so dependent on us for everything in our day to day life that we fear our own absence in their day. There is no harm in leaving certain responsibilities to our spouse, kids and parents and demand them to be independent in their day to day chores. This only lets us take our breaks more confidently and at the same time doesn’t make them nervous in our absence. I believe in today’s world every member in the family needs his/her space and time to unwind and gear up for further innings.
Anyways, once the spouse was convinced and confident, convincing kids and parents became easy. Once the hotel and tickets were booked, the four of us could feel an excitement within us that we had last felt in our college days. The list of what we will and can do while we are on our own without any responsibilities was endless. Thoughts like – we need not wait for kids to sleep to start our party, we would not have any clock ticking on our heads, no restrictions in terms of pleasing everybody around before we start enjoying. The feeling of being a free bird was amazing. Of course we love our family, but we wanted to live up these days like we would never get them again. We enjoyed every minute of our trip doing things that were in our wish list and were pending or had taken back seat due to certain role that we play when we are in our family dynamics. Everything from making a tattoo to shopping, hitting a disc to water sports, spa to swimming, renting bikes to staying up late nights…we did everything!!!
When we returned to our respective homes, we were given grand welcome by kids. We were totally rejuvenated. Our respective husbands had done their jobs very efficiently and we are proud of them. It just goes to say that husband and wife have to work as a team to have a successful marriage and a happy family.
The trip gave us a new perspective – we need to define ourselves and not let others define us. Life is short. Children will grow and go their ways. Husbands are busy earning and will continue to be busy when we grow old. But girl friends will always be there for you. We concluded our trip on two notes: We will plan one such trip every year and will never put ourselves on backseat when it comes to giving priority.
Our respective husbands also ended our trip on two notes: It is time to plan an all-guys trip and they are proud of what we do every day to keep our family happy while maintaining our sanity.
What if we are 35+ year old ladies… we still are girls at heart!